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It is a very sad day....

2005-09-05T01:30:00.000-07:00

And I cannot give any kudos to what happened last night. Sad, VERY effing sad.

2005-09-02T23:21:00.000-07:00

Track: California Speedway
Race: NEXTEL Cup Series 500
Track Length: 2 miles
Fastest Qualifying Lap: Ryan Newman, 187.432, April 2002
Pole Sitter: TBA
2004 Winner: Elliott Sadler

2005-08-29T20:21:00.000-07:00

2005-08-29T20:16:00.000-07:00

Track: Bristol Motorspeedway
Race: Sharpie 500
Track Length: 3/4 mile
Fastest Qualifying Lap: Ryan Newman, 128.709, 2003
Pole Sitter: Matt Kenseth
2004 Winner: Dale Earnhardt Jr

"It's always reminds me of what an ancient Roman coliseum had to bem you know, grandstands all the way up to the heavens and a tough little place inside." Brendan Gaughan.

2005-08-25T23:42:00.000-07:00

2005-08-20T23:36:00.000-07:00

Track: Michigan International Speedway
Race: GFS Marketplace 400
Track Length: 2 miles
Fastest Qualifying Lap: Ryan Newman, 194.232, 2005
Pole Sitter: TBA
2004 Winner: Greg Biffle

2005-08-14T19:06:00.000-07:00

2005-08-11T23:06:00.000-07:00

Track: Watkins Glen
Race: Sirius Satellite Radio at the Glen
Track Length: 2.45 miles, road course
Fastest Qualifying Lap: Ricky Rudd, 181.068 mph, Aug. 2000
Pole Sitter: Tony Stewart
2004 Winner: Tony Stewart
My Prediction: Kasey Kahne

"One thing has always been the same at the Glen...if you are going to be successful, you pretty much have to drive 90 laps out of control." Dale Jarrett.

2005-08-09T18:20:00.000-07:00

· Kurt Busch will take over the #2 Penske Dodge in 2007. Currently it is piloted by Rusty Wallace, who will retire at the end of the 2005 season.
· Ginassi lineup for 2006: Mears to the #39 Home 123 Dodge, Stremme in the Coors #40 Dodge, Sorenson in the #41 Target Dodge, and McMurray stays for more year in the #42 Texaco/Havoline Dodge. One happy dysfunctional family.
· Columbus, IN to hold a parade in honor of Tony Stewart’s 2005 Brickyard 400 win. Stewart was the first Indiana native to win at Indianapolis Raceway Park since 1940 when Wilbur Shaw won the Indy 500.
· This weekend will be “Rusty Wallace Weekend” in Troy, NY, in honor of Rusty’s Last Call rolling into Watkins Glen. I wonder how Mark Martin feels about this, first “Wallace Family Tribute” now “Rusty Wallace Weekend.”
· Lefler’s out of the Joe Gibbs #11 Fed Ex Chevy. Terry Labonte, Denny Hamlin, J.J. Yeley will share driving duties for the rest of the year.
· Jon Wood split with Roush racing, enter him into major rumor mill.

2005-08-07T23:45:00.000-07:00

2005-08-06T13:33:00.000-07:00

Track:Indianapolis
Race:Allstate 400 at the Brickyard
Track Length: 2.5 miles
Fastest Qualifying Lap: Casey Mears, 186.293 mph, Aug. 2004
Pole Sitter: Bud Pole Qualifying Saturday at 3:10 pm
2004 Winner: Jeff Gordon

"Take the one thing in you're life that you're the most passionate about and you'll have a good understanding of what Indy means to me. I have only one chance of every 365 days to win at Indy," says Tony Stewart.

It's a DEI world, I just live in it

2005-08-06T00:43:00.000-07:00

I think NASCAR.com has lost their damn minds. Now they are saying that the Brickyard 400 is more prestigious that the Daytona 500 trophy. And I’ll tell you what it is, it is all apart of the Hendrick Conspiracy my friends. Yes at first it does not make sense, but stay with me little chipmunks. Gordon did win the Daytona 500 this year. Last year Gordon won the Brickyard 400. He also holds the record for most Brickyard 400 wins with four. See how this works? Sure you do. Gordon is doing poorly, looks like he might not make the chase. Goodness forbid the press treats him like Dale Jr. so instead let us focus on this track coming up this weekend that Gordon has won at plenty of times, and furthermore lets call it the biggest race of the year! Marketing genius! I think not, Daytona 500 is the biggest and will always be the biggest race of the year.

DEI is now saying that they will be running a third team in the future. Details are not clear yet, but it appears as long as Tony Eury Jr and NAPA stay on board, DEI has secured only what they described as a “prominent” driver. The rumor for the moment has Matt Kenseth in the drivers seat. Send me to Daytona now, Earnhardt, Truex, and Kenseth on one team? Rousch who?

Speaking of Dale Jr. looks like he’ll be hocking energy chews. So starting September 2005 go to your local grocery store and buy some XLR8 energy chews for $1.99 a pop. You know I will be.

Fret not my folks, I am currently looking to restructure this blog. I am in need of organization and order in my life and blog. So I am looking into making up a weekly schedule of post ideas. Matter of fact…I will start working on that now. This very moment. Ok well if I stopped blogging I could! So let me go. Yes I know nobody reads this now, but man give me a month…If you blog it, they will come.

Well, I guess it's called NASCAR...

2005-07-20T10:04:00.000-07:00

Mikey
My thoughts on Mikey leaving are complicated. Personally, I think Michael Waltrip is one of the nicest, most amusing people on this earth and to see him go is hard as a DEI fan. He is a great spokesman and has a great heart. Off the track he has made huge strides for NASCAR charities. On the other hand, he really hasn’t been too competitive in the last few years. He’s starting to get his career back on track now. However, with Truex coming up next year and focus on Dale Jr. to run better, it is obvious Mikey would have been third priority. He needs to do what is best for him and his career right now. I worry that he won’t find a good ride though. Rumors have him going over to the number 0 car that Mike Bliss drives. There is also a rumor that he will be the first driver to run a Toyota car when they enter into the cup series in 2007. I guess in the next few weeks a bunch of announcements will be made. I hope that DEI still plans on fielding 3 cars next year. I do feel that Dale Jr. and Martin Jr. will be successful working together next year. Well, they better be, or else DEI will collapse. In that case, I think DEI and Childress should merge. To be honest I think they should anyway.

Bitchfest
McMurray and Kenseth are bitch fighting again. I wonder how they will get along as teammates? Any who, on to some real bitch fighting, Mike Bliss and Jeff Gordon. Obviously NASCAR is keeping mum about this, but apparently Jeffy “punched” ahem probably slapped Mike Bliss at the airport. Just when you nay Sayers think that this whole Hendrick Conspiracy is crap just because Gordon is doing crappy, listed hear, last year Tony Stewart got fined and put on probation for punching Hendrick’s Brian Vickers. Some fight that the difference is because the Stewart-Vickers incident happened on the track and the Gordon-Bliss bitch slap happened at the airport. However, should this behavior be tolerated off track? I mean if NASCAR knows about it then shouldn’t the do something about it? Well of course they should! It’s Jeff Gordon and no one likes him, except mini van drivers, so NASCAR should fine the hell out of him. For cripes sake, they kicked the hell out of Junior while he was down, why not bitch slap Jeff’s wallet and self esteem some? Heck, I think they should make Jeff apologize to Bliss on air and hug him. Mwahahaha.

While I am on the topic of the Hendrick Conspiracy, I think that it is not so much NASCAR that is sanctioning this policy as much as Fox. Notice how broadcast switched over to NBC and suddenly Jr. started doing better? Coincidence, I think NOT!

Onto the King of Idiots
Marty Smith . He actually said, “The reason I name those two organizations in particular because, considering ford already nabbed McMurray, it stands to reason that Dodge will do whatever it takes to secure Mears in a Charger. Just my opinion.” Yes Marty, I too would hate to see such a talented driver as Casey Mears drive a ford. He then debates with himself whether Chip Ginassi should let Jamie McMurray out of his contract in 2006. In my opinion yes he should. Marty agrees, because, “Otherwise, why keep a guy whose heart is somewhere else? Let him go and get started on making him wish he hadn't.” Well of course they will, they have that big old Casey Mears threat working for Ginassi! Let’s see, Rousch has won what? Only the last two series titles, Ginassi has won how many races in the last two years? Hmm, none.

If I'm not mistaken, something happened yesterday...

2005-07-11T20:33:00.000-07:00

This guy won! It’s not to say that he still doesn’t have a heck of a way to go to make the chase still, but at this point, winning is a huge relief for the team and fans. Hopefully, this momentum can carry on for a few more races and swing him into contention for the chase. Unfortunately, I was at work during the race so I have yet to see all the action, but I did watch the ending….and I did see this…

Man wreck. That makes this Jr fan very happy. Go ahead media, dig into boy wonder and overanalyze his career. He needs a friggin’ reality check. What the heck was up with him saying that he shouldn’t have to be ‘mid-pack’ with all the ‘mid-pack’ racers. Well dude, if you didn’t suck you wouldn’t be there. So go back to the winery and toast another one to yourself.

Oh, does anyone need help jumping back on the bandwagon? A lot of people are suddenly Jr. fans again. Funny how that stuff happens.

What’s this about Mark Martin possibly returning in 06? I bet he’ll do it too. Just so we have to listen to one more year of his whining. While we’re at it, when are they going to announce who’s replacing Rusty? Now, the rumor of the week is Jon Wood.

Looks like Robby got over complex, he’s saying now that he will run the Indy 500 in 2006.

NASCAR Fans

2005-07-09T23:15:00.000-07:00

One of my favorite things to do at the track is to observe people. I like to sit on a bench and watch people pass and see which driver they root for. I have come to a few conclusions. Now, these are not fool proof, but here are my findings on the types of people who like each type of driver.

Dale Earnhardt Jr.= drunk rednecks and every other person at the track.

Kurt Busch= chain smoking, angry grandma’s.

Jeff Gordon= Minivan drivers and passengers.

Tony Stewart= soccer moms and dads. Let me explain. By this I mean the families that do not pretend to be the Brady Bunch. They realize they are a little chaotic but they are happy and love each other. They drive SUV’s.

Kevin Harvick= 20 something year old males with a chip on their shoulder.

Bobby Labonte= 40 year old women.

Mark Martin= 50 year old women.

Rusty Wallace= 50 year old men.

Kasey Kahne= 14-year-old girls. Oh my golly, I am a Kasey Kahne fan. He is my second favorite next to Jr. However, I could never be a full time die-hard fan because of his fan base. I swear, while waiting in line at his garage area for him to sign autographs, this is what I heard, “OMG! I don’t understand why people like Jr! I mean he is so not like the sexiest driver! That was like so unfair! Kasey should have won it. OMG I love Kasey! OMG OMG OMG! I saw Kale Kahne! OMG! Did you see the last NASCAR Drivers 360?” Really. I wanted to SLAP these girls. Then Kasey himself came out. Forget about it. They lost it. I wouldn’t doubt that they will never use eye drops again, in fear of cleaning their eyes of the sight of Kasey. Poor guy, I feel bad for him. I myself think he is a good-looking guy, but I watch NASCAR and I don't pretend to like it because of some stupid crush like these chicks. One of the girls had the nerve to say, “OMG, Jr hasn’t even won a race this year and Kasey has!” I just turned to my friend and said, “OMG! Jr is 18th in the points and Kasey is 21st! And OMG, Jr has 15 career wins and Kasey only has 1! Like OMG!”

Which brings me to another point, I hate posers. I don’t understand why you would pretend to like something you know nothing about. True NASCAR fans are passionate and it’s annoying when you run into someone who pretends to like it and doesn’t know their head from their ass.

And, yes I know the above stereotypes do not hold true for every race fan. Every once in a while you see one that really throws you a curve. My favorite is the three-tooth redneck that likes Jimmie Johnson. My question is, some drivers appear to have no fans but yet I know people like them. For instance, Jamie McMurray, Ryan Newman, Greg Biffle, Sterling Marlin? Where are their fans???

Daytona Picture's are in...

2005-07-09T10:54:00.000-07:00

Rest easy now people. You can view more pictures on my Photobucket album. Go check them out!!

While we're on the subject, I might also add that there is a picture of my new Rusty Wallace die-cast car. My mom's boyfriend works for Meade, which is one of Rusty's sponsors. So he had the PR guy get me an autographed "Rusty's Last Call" die-cast. Ya, I was pretty excited too.

More blotter later.

McMurray to drive for Roush in 2007

2005-07-09T02:23:00.000-07:00

Well, that sucks. I guess though if you really think about it, a lot of people will be better off. Let's examine. Casey Mears gets to keep his ride, now they can put Reed in the 42 car. Jamie McMurray will be able to win a race, because by default Roush drivers win races. Finally, Roush now has a pretty face and will be able to compete with Hendrick's maketability. Let's face it, Carl Edwards and Jamie McMurray on one team? You'll need some dark shades to block the light off those two's grins.

Daytona Activities

2005-07-06T22:38:00.000-07:00

We headed for Daytona around 8:30 a.m. Traffic wasn’t very bad so we made it there in 2 and a half hours and that’s with making a pit stop on the way up. We arrived at the Speedway at 11:30 a.m. First we hit the merchandise row. The only thing I bought was a Program. Joe Nemechek was in his merchandise hauler signing autographs so I got him to sign my program and I got a picture of him. Then we were off to will-call to pick up our tickets. Then we were off to ask a million different people how to get into the Fan Zone. Which meant we walked back and forth along the front stretch a few times before someone was able to tell us, to go down to turn 1 and there will be a tram starting at 2 p.m. So, we walked around the merchandise haulers some more. Then we went over to the Fan Zone. It was awesome; we got to actually go through a tunnel! The Fan Zone was awesome! Double thumbs up to Daytona for bringing that to the fans. Once we got over there, the skies opened up and it began to pour. Thankfully, we had ponchos. So we trudged through the rain looking around. Chilled out for a bit undercover. It finally cleared up and we got to really start looking around. It was cool to be able to look into the garages and see the cars before the race and the teams actually working on them and stuff. We waited for about an hour in Kasey’s area to try to get an autograph. We saw him but no luck on getting signage. Then we were off to the Dale Jr. fan forum. We got there 10 minutes late, but I was able to get up front and snap a picture of him. He only spoke for like 15 minutes, but hey it was only $5 a ticket. I was kind of disappointed because Carl Edwards and Scott Riggs also had fan forums and our band was good to get into all 3 but since we were hanging out at Kasey’s garage we only got to go to Jr.’s. We headed back to the Fan Zone. Walked around there for a while and checked out the pits. Last year, they let fans actually go up to the pit stalls, this year we couldn’t get that close. Then they started getting ready for the Lisa Marie Presley concert. Don’t ask why she was there, I don’t know either. She pretty much sucked. While that was going on, we went and checked out the inspections, which was crowded. Then we went back by the garages. There were still rabid 14-year-old girls by Kasey’s garage (more on that later). After a little bit we went back to the inspection area and the crowd had thinned out quite a bit and I was able to get a space on the fence so that I could actually watch what was going on. Which was a whole lot of nothing. So we hung out there for a while and then…we saw Ryan Newman! Yep, he just walked right on by. He waved and stuff. Then a couple minutes later, Ray Evernham walked by! So we hung out there for a few minutes. It was so weird too because not many people realized what was going on. I mean it was us and like 3 older women. So then I was able to move closer to the gate they were all going in. Unfortunately, the only other driver we got to see was Brian Vickers. It was pretty funny because I recognized Brian Vickers but I couldn’t think of his name, so I am sitting there trying to tell D that it was him, but I was like, “Hey, it’s what’s his face! Oh my gosh, what’s his name! The Hendrick leprechaun!” Then I remembered his name. He was really close too. I didn’t get a picture of him though. Just because, well, I hate him so it wouldn’t have made much sense. Then, it was getting close to race time. So we went to find our seats. Of course once we got to our seats, it began to pour. So we sat in our ponchos and waited it out for a few hours. Finally around 10 pm the race started. I won’t bother recapping the race because YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN WATCHING! But if for some unforeseen reason you did not watch it, well, I videotaped it so you can come over and watch it. Dammit though, my tape ran out 27 laps to go! I am so sad. The coolest thing was that the row in front of us was completely empty so no worrying about crowding. We sat on the backstretch. Our sears were really good, 5th row. The people sitting to our right were nice people, they kind of kept to themselves and enjoyed the race. Sometimes the woman would talk to me. The people to the left of us were drunk of their asses before the race started. It was so bad that they would get up to go get a beer and then forget where they were sitting. At one point they went and sat in the section to the left of us so we could see them when they sat down, realized all their stuff was gone, and started cussing us out. I got a good laugh at their stupidity. Then it took them at least 45 minutes to figure out if J came before or after I. It was hilarious. Now there is something I do not understand. To go to a race, the seat alone is going to run you about $75. Why would you drink until you have no recollection of the event??! Maybe I am too cheap, but that is just dumb to me. Oh well, wasn’t my money being pissed away, I had a great time!! We got scanners too. That was awesome, it’s neat to be able to hear the in car discussions. Dale Jr. cusses a lot. Best in car audio of the night: Tommy Baldwin: It’s getting past my bedtime. Kasey Kahne: Ya, mine too. I don’t know why but that cracked me up. Well, the race ended around 2 a.m. Of course leaving there was a bitch because half the people were drunk and those that weren’t, were cranky. So we made they ass long hike back to our car and started driving home. With the insane traffic, we got home just before 7 a.m. Yep, we were up a whole 24 hours! I got some sleep and headed for work at 2 p.m.

Well, this will be the first of several posts on commentary about Daytona. So, check back in the next few days. I am also working with my friend Chris on a new design for the blog. I am hoping to get this more organized and more focused so be patient with me.

Daytona

2005-07-03T11:44:00.000-07:00

There is a God...
And He does watch NASCAR. It is my strong belief, He wants me to go to all the races! Please, at any time, inquire on how you can send me some funds. Oh come on guys, you want Jr. to make the chase. What is a dollar a day to you???

There are great things to come...
Oh well, at any rate... Went to Daytona, conquered Daytona, sore as Hell from Daytona. I work tonight, if I am still standing when I get home I will start blogging about all the issues I have pent up. Hell, maybe I'll even hit up the Memoirs. So send your kids to bed early, grab some popcorn and be prepared.

Coca-Cola 600

2005-05-29T00:23:00.000-07:00

What a Load of Horse, Bull and Donkey crap
Great race. Gotta say that, if nothing else, it was an exciting race. Would have liked to see anyone besides a Hendrick car win it though. Especially Jimmie Johnson. It is great how his win was tagged by, "1,800 miles of perfect racing." What race were they watching? No one was perfect in that race. It should have been called "1,800 miles of lucky racing" or "1,800 miles of Hendrick conspiracy."

The whole Junior/ Waltrip Issue
In my opinion, lol, as a Junior fan, I think Waltrip came up on Junior and Junior didn't have much of an option but to get into the back of him. Granted, I do think Junior could have avoided wrecking him by slowing up but then someone would have wrecked him from behind. It drives me nuts how blown out of proportion the incident will become. Vickers did the exact same thing but when he did it the commentators just said "Well he just got into the back of him." Yet, for the remainder of the race, "Junior wrecked Waltrip." TELL ME IT IS NOT A FREAKING CONSPIRACY!!
Look proof. 22 cautions and this is the only one that will be even mentioned in the next week.

Hey Bitches...
Guess who scored a top 10?? Martin Truex Jr! So take a piece of rubber and shove it.

NASCAR Victory Lane on Speed Channel
What the Hell was up with Jimmy Spencer wearing flip flops? It's trivial but still it looked so odd.

Notes

2005-05-28T01:38:00.000-07:00

NASCAR Drivers 360
I love how Robby Gordon manages to try to make it sound like it was his idea to leave Childress. That's hilarious.

Speaking of Robby Gordon
He says Danica Patrick has an unfair advantage because she only weighs 100 lbs. Yes, well her vagina puts her at a disadvantage so I guess it equals out. Then he threatened that he won't race in IRL until this is resolved. Well, I bet Kasey Kahne weighs a good 50 lbs less than you...why don't you stop being a field filler in the Nextel cup?

Rusty Martin
Apparently, Mark Martin wants to run part time in the 2006 Nextel cup with Rusty Wallace running the remaining races. The funny this is Jack Rousch is just kind of like, "Ya, maybe the truck series."

Little E's New Crew Chief
Rumor has it, it might be Jimmy Elledge, Junior's brother-in-law and Casey Mears crew chief. I don't think it will happen. Let's hope not anyway. He might make Junior shave his head and talk like a robot.

McMurray, Sadler and Kournikova
Apparently they all played tennis together for a promotion. McMurray and Kournikova were against Sadler and whoever else was playing. Apparently McMurray lost them a point (imagine that) and Kournikova got pissed off. Ya dumb twit, wtf cares? Nobody even talks about you anymore...except every few months when you "might have" married Enrique.

Taking Bets
Which Hendrick driver will wreck someone this week? I am pulling for Jimmie.

All-Star Weekend

2005-05-26T18:07:00.000-07:00

Congrats Mark Martin
I'm not a big Mark Martin fan because he is always whining, but when he does win it's pretty special, he looks like a kid.

FUCKING HENDRICK
If NASCAR does not fine them, it's a joke! I love how the commentator's all concluded that it was just the nature of the race. It's not even a points race! The winner gets $1 million! It's called GREED and its a sin Mr. Vicker's...Rot in Hell! It just make me mad. For those of you fools who did not see, Mike Bliss, was leading the race, had been for most of the sprint, last lap, last turn, Brian Vickers realized he didn't have enough talent to win so he bumped Bliss out of his way and won thus advancing into the All-Star Race.

Truex Jr
SO...Brian Vickers spins out Mike Bliss to win the Nextel Open...Big wreck, Joe Nemecheck and Kevin Harvick fight...Mark Martin wins the All-Star race...And all anyone on NASCAR.com can talk about is the fact that Martin Truex Jr got voted into the All-Star race??? WTF cares? It counts for absolutely jack shiz. Yes, he got voted in because he drives for DEI, who wants to wear the captain obvious cape? Stop the bitching, there are bigger issues to be discussed. Like I don't know...why every race Hendrick feels the need to take cheap shots at other drivers.

JR Crew Change
WOW Big NEWS!! Ya, if you have slept through the last 11 races. Good for him. It's about time. Hopefully this Hmiel can get it done. It seems that he complements Jr's personality better.

Sexiest Driver
Vote. Waltrip. He is one sexy POA.

Richmond Review

2005-05-15T21:13:00.000-07:00

KASEY KAHNE

FINALLY WON!!!

Look how excited Kasey got.

I love Kasey, only he would get out of the car after coming so close so many times before and say, "That was pretty cool so thank Ray Evernham, everybody at the engine shop, the race shop."

NASCAR Drivers 360
I love that show. Well, gotta love it, they showed Kasey in his undies. Wow, so I bet Terry Labonte is thrilled that Kasey is macking on his daughter. No, really, I bet he is thrilled anyone would mack on her. Ok, ok, I won't make anymore cracks on her, I'll leave that up to all the other Kasey Kahne Web sites. She looks like a nice girl.

However, Eva's skank self if fair game. For those of you fools who do not know, Eva is Kurt Busch's girl friend and a plain special human being. My favorite part was when she said that she was excited for the 2004 NASCAR banquet because it was Kurt and her's time to shine. Really Kurt, I don't think she is out for your money at all! Good Choice!

Little Hendrick Bitch Boys
"He kept poking at me at my face and he scratched me a couple of times, but, whatever. That's all right." Kyle Busch
What a pansy ass. He was scratching my face?! So you just stood there and let him? He should have clocked your ass out. I don't know why Jamie was so surprised, it's Hendrick's mission to wreck as many people as they can for positions. He was only doing what Papa Gordon told him.

NASCAR's Sexiest Driver
This week it's Kasey Kahne against Dale Jarrett. That is a toughie. I think Jarrett's kinda hot. It's a pretty close race so far. I won't sway your opinion. Just go VOTE

2005-05-04T19:38:00.000-07:00

The Little Hendrick Bitch Boy is Making Everyone Mad
Jimmie Johnson has now decided that ensuring a top 5 finish is more important to him than everyone else's safety or life for that matter. He's got quite a few people wanting to kick his ass. The countdown is on. How long before someone starts retaliating. I can guarantee you someone will take him out this weekend at Darlington. He might as well drive Casey Mears's car.

"If there was one idiot out there it was him. To be honest about it, I think Jimmie Johnson caused about all the wrecks out there." Junior

"I hate to point fingers, but if [Johnson] hadn't been in the race, we wouldn't have had those wrecks, I've seen both replays and I don't care what anyone says. I like Jimmie. He's a talented driver. But he caused both wrecks." Greg Biffle

"I don't know what he was doing. He was running guys up and down the racetrack." Tony Stewart on Jimmie Johnson.

Driving 101 with Carl Edwards
Now, Carl, sweetie, when there is a huge crash, the point is to NOT run as fast as you can into it. For the life of me I cannot figure out what the Hell Carl Edwards was thinking. Big crash ahead. Plenty of time to slow down and veer into the grass. Nah instead gun it right into the middle of the wreck. It's Ok Carl, I do the same thing when I play "NASCAR 2005: Chase for the Cup." Except, that's a game an I don't hurt anyone.

Some Quality Waltrip Quotes

I don't understand the question.

Yeah. I obviously have some feeling in my rear end that's different than what Dale Jr. feels in his -- and I need to have things set up particularly for me, and he for him.

"Well, I can't answer that (because) I haven't seen it yet. I'm not combative either. If a gate guard tells me I can't go through there because I don't have the right pass, I would rather just go to another gate guard."

"I just do this other stuff on the side to make sure I'm doing a nice job for all the corporate partners that we have."

"People say to me all the time, 'Why do you use Just For Men -- you don't have gray hair?'Well, that's why I use it. I do have gray hair and it perfectly matches my natural color and you can't tell. I love Just For Men."

"So that's a win-win situation and I'm real proud to be associated with Just For Men, with all they do for our sport -- particularly the camp -- and my hair."

"Well, I want to say that the dad just didn't see me -- or he would have let the kid stop. He just thought the kid was goofing off. I think the commercial was cool and I'm real proud of every part of it. I didn't even get that out of it, like what you said. I didn't think the dad was being a meanie. I think the dad just didn't see it was me and he was just telling his child to come on, it was time to get to the races. I thought it was a perfect ad. I wouldn't have liked it if I thought the dad was being mean."

Dale Earnhardt: April 29, 1951- February 18, 2001

2005-04-29T12:31:00.000-07:00

Kurt Busch 97

2005-04-24T23:47:00.000-07:00

I shall blog about Kurt Busch first. He is after all the 2004 Cup Champion. Who am I kidding? He's first up because my NASCAR dummy friend Chris came up with the idea for this and I shall have him randomly pick numbers and blog about whatever driver number he picks. Make sense? Good.

NASCAR.com
STATS
TEAM: Roush Racing
SPONSOR(S): Rubbermaid, Sharpie, Crown Royal, Irwin
YEARS IN NEXTEL CUP: 4
CHAMPIONSHIPS: 1
HOME TOWN:LAS VEGAS

Kurt is a driver I have wrestled with for awhile. I can't decide if I like him or not. I gotta say though his likeability factor went up a whole 10% when he bumped Gordon at Martinsville. He seems to talk like a robot. Watching an interview is painful. It truly seems like he just throws words together and hopes nobody notices that he didn't actually make a sentence.
"It's unbelievable to be able to put such an effort into what it takes to make a championship caliber team"Really how much sense did that make? I am impressed, usually he likes to throw, execute in there. Now 2003 Kurt, he has some spice to him. Let's revisit some memorable quotes from the 2003 Busch-whacking incident between him and Jimmy Spencer. "Inches count, unless it's horseshoes or hand grenades. And I don't want to play either with that clown." First of all, inches DON'T count unless you are playing horeshoe or throwing hand grenades. Clown? You are a grown man! Call him a fat jackass or something not a clown! Then there is this gem: "You better, you better, you better. What ya got? You have the run of your life and you think you got something. One day out of the year, that's 365. Do something. Just fucking do something. You'll fucking die." Ya, Jimmy Spencer punched him after that. And he's still a walking. None the less, Kurt, we, the fans, thank you for bringing back a truly exciting rivalry. I am really sorry that you have to be boring now.

Phoenix (part 2)

2005-04-24T23:09:00.000-07:00

More Complaints About Fox Coverage
Is it too much to ask to come out of the commercial break immediately if there is a caution? At least if they aren't going to do that, when they actually make it around to live coverage, is it too much to ask to show the TV viewers why there is a caution? Seriously they took their sweet ass time actually showing a replay.

Commercials
That Greg Biffle Subway commercial was gay. The fact that they had to show it a million times being the Subway Fresh 500, made it that much more annoying. Anyway, I just wanted to throw it out there, NAPA has the best NASCAR commercials! I crack up every time one comes on. My favorite is when they are looking at the colored carburetor and Junior says, "People love red." and Michael says, "People named Dale."

The Gillette Young Guns
Why don't they change their drivers or commercials? It bugs me that the youngest "Young Gun" is 27 and the rest are pretty much in their 30s. I mean not to say that isn't young. But you have Kyle Busch who is only 19, Vicker's is 21, Carl Edwards and Kasey Kahne at 25. Oh, wait, nevermind those guys aren't old enough to shave yet. But, Gillette should change it to something else. They aren't that young comparatively speaking. I get irritated everytime I see those commercials.

On Cloud 8!

2005-04-24T01:08:00.000-07:00

DEI or Die!
Ya, so what Kurt Busch won the race. More importantly, Mikey came in 2nd and Junior came in 4th! What is even greater? The post race interview where Mikey licked his face. I mean tongue out and round it went. Only Mikey could do that. That's two consecutive top 5's for that crew. More importantly Junior is slowly making his way back up into the top 10 in points. They're back and strong. Up next: Talladega. Time to turn it up and kick some ass.

Talladega Revisited
So we all know about the incident last fall at Talladega. Ok and if you don't shut up because I am about to explain. Junior won. In Victory Lane during the interview he was asked how it felt to have win number 5 at Talladega. He is now second to his dad who has the most wins. His response, "Well, it don't mean shit now. Daddy's won here 10 times." This was on live TV. For that NASCAR docked him 25 points and fined him $10,000. Which is crap. Seriously, this time I want him to get out and say, "Kiss my F@$#king ass to all of you who thought I wouldn't do shit this year." But oh wait he's not on the Hendrick race team. He can't get away with everything. At any rate I found these funny souvenirs that I thought I would share. One was a shirt that said: "$10,000 ain't shit, but 25 points is bullshit!"
Then there is a car decal that reads: "Junior's the Shit!"

Fox Coverage
Is it wrong to expect them to get there shit straight? TWICE count it TWICE they said Brian Vickers was the 2004 Rookie of the Year! WTF? NO! Kasey Kahne was the 2004 ROY. What he's not Hendrick so you are going to strip it from him and think nobody will notice? I did and you can expect a very angry letter from me! At one point they called Ryan Newman Carl (Edwards). Again, you are mistaken. Carl actually has a neck and he smiles.

Ryan Newman

Carl Edwards

Hendrick Conspiracy lives on
Question: How come the Hendrick boys can drive carelessly and not get fined? Hell they can even cheat and not get fined. I hope Tony Stewart goes and kicks Jimmie's ass. Er, well, when his burns have healed. Anyway, Vickers got a top 5. Kyle Busch came in 8th. CONSPIRACY! At least it wasn't the Jimmie-Jeffy Butt bunch.

Tid Bits

2005-04-21T23:24:00.000-07:00

Smoke BBQ
So after getting all crispified last week, Tony Stewart has announced he is going to be selling his own BBQ sauce...called...come on now....can you guess?...sure you can...go ahead....SMOKE!

Sexiest Driver
This weeks contest: Jeff Gordon v Robby Gordon. I am predicting Jeff will win. Psh, you know him and the rainbow crew stayed up all night everynight voting. You, yes, you can vote now in the next heat: Jamie McMurray v Kurt Busch. Not like that is much of a competition. Jamie is gonna spank the ears of Kurt's head. I think it's funny how Fox only included 16 drivers. Come on now. Mark Martin is one hot SOB.

Misc
So is everyone excited for the Phoenix night race? I get soooo excited about night races, I don't know why. They are just so exciting.

Well, I am going to start spotlighting drivers. Probably 1-2 a week. Just a little background on them and why I do or don't like them. It will be fun. You should come back and read.

The Bug-Eyed Dummy Won!

2005-04-17T22:44:00.000-07:00

Photo courtesy of NASCAR.com

Bitchin' Biffle
Well, I guess today you're not a bitch, Biffle. Way to go. I kind of like ol' Biff. The only thing that bothers me is his name rhymes with wiffle and hence I think of wiffle ball. In all seriousness, I do think Greg Biffle is going to be the guy to watch this year. I started saying this last year. I root for him just because I don't think anyone else does. Really, when's the last time you saw someone sporting a 16 hat?

Bug-eyed Dummy Biffle
For all of you non-NASCAR fools who do not know where his nickname "Bug Eyed Dummy" came from, Let me elaborate. During the 2004 Watkins Glen race, Greg Biffle spun out Sterling Marlin. When Sterling's crew chief asked him what happened he replied, "I got run over by a bug-eyed dummy." Clearly one of the best quotes of the year. I wonder if Sterling has always secretly called Greg a bug-eyed dummy or if this was a random remark. Trust me, the picture above does no justice to his bug eyes, but it was hard to find a good one, Greg often hides behind his glasses.

Way to Go Sterling!
Speaking of Sterling, it was nice to see him get that top 5 today. There are certain guys out there, namely, anyone who doesn't drive for Roush or Hendrick, that you know just don't have a chance in Hell at winning, so when they get up there, man it's exciting.

Photo courtesy of SterlingMarlinFanClub.com

My Rant About the Boring Pre-shows.
I also would like to see more interviews from some of the more lively NASCARians. Is it me or does it seem like Kurt Busch just throws together big words to formulate his sentences? As if it just won't matter because most of the viewers won't know what they mean. I miss the old Kurt. Anyway, back to my idea. I think each race they should conduct interviews with these drivers. Michael Waltrip, hands down he is the funniest NASCAR driver. If you need proof go here and then click on the video for 2/22/2002, "Michael Waltrip does the 'Turkey' walk for Kenny Wallace." I also believe that it should be required for the rest of the season to interview Kyle Petty so that the announcer can say, "Well you really didn't do so well last week, but you have to be excited about getting that top 10 at Bristol." For those of you who don't know, Bristol was the first top 10 for Kyle in the last 3 years. Now, on the few occasions Kyle is mentioned, the announcer makes sure to hark on the fact that Kyle actually did it. Just the pure shock and excitement on their faces is funny. Did anyone else catch the fact that FOX made sure to do "10 Laps with Kyle Petty" the following week? Got to get him while he's hot. Of course, Sterling Marlin. Although there would have to be subtitles, for those of you's that don't speak Sterling. I would really like to see Ward Burton back. Hell, if no one will let him drive, why can't we let him interview people? Well. OK, I guess the pre-show is long enough; it would probably be pretty excruciating to wait for Ward to get through a couple of sentences. They could give him a little segment. Replace Darrell's crybaby zone each week with Ward interviewing someone. I think I am going to start a petition, Bring Back Ward! Who's with me?

The Whole Jeremy/Jamie Fiasco
Speaking of FOX broadcasting, anyone catch when they said Jeremy McMurray and then almost said Jamie Mayfield? I feel so bad for Jamie McMurray every time that happens. I mean, he's a good-looking guy and a great driver and he's being confused with a 35-year-old has-been. Don't get me wrong, I like Jeremy Mayfield . But come on, let's just face it, he's another one of those guys that when he creeps into the top 10, you are saying in the back of your mind, "Good for him!"

NASCAR Drivers 360
NASCAR Drivers 360 is going to premiere this week! I am really excited. I have been trying to find some show info on the Internet to get a heads up on who they are going to feature this year. I really hope there is more variety this year. Kenny Wallace and Kevin Harvick every single week got pretty old. Especially since neither was really doing anything on the track. Although, it is pretty funny to watch Kenny without his Riddlin.

Hendrick Conspiracy Lives On
New clause to the Hendrick Conspiracy: In each race, one of the Hendrick drivers will place in the top 5. Come on now, where the Hell did Jimmie come from? At least it wasn't Jeffy.

FYI: There will be no links to Hendrick drivers. I refuse to give them more publicity. If you would like to see a picture of them, google the words Egotistical Rainbow Bitches.

CONGRATS KASEY KAHNE!!

2005-04-17T00:45:00.000-07:00

Kasey is one of my favorite drivers, so I was thrilled to see him win the the O'Reilly 300 at Texas Motorspeedway. So, Mr. Biffle, you may have made my top 10 predictions list, but today you are Kasey's bitch! He will be the man to beat tomorrow. Good luck, Kasey!!

My Chase Selections

2005-04-16T10:08:00.000-07:00

So I thought it would be interesting to make a prediction this year on who I think will make the chase. Darrell Waltrip keeps blabbling on about how it's going to be the same 10 drivers this year as last year, but I beg to differ. So alas here, in no particular order, is my prediction:
Ryan Newman
Kasey Kahne
Greg Biffle
Jeff Gordon
Tony Stewart
Dale Earnhardt Jr
Kevin Harvick
Jimmie Johnson
Kurt Busch
Jamie McMurray

Looming outside the top 10:
Carl Edwards
Matt Kennseth
Bobby Labonte
Elliot Sadler
Mark Martin

I should note also that I think more than 10 drivers will make it into the chase. So I included the top 15.

2005-04-12T21:19:00.000-07:00

Evil Hendrick Conspirer

The Hendrick Conspiracy

2005-04-12T00:17:00.000-07:00

The rainbow warrior stared down adversity and then plowed right through it. Ok next week or the week after I am sure you can take out rainbow warrior and insert Jimmie Johnson. Every other week one of the two will win. This is a new rule guarantee courtesy of NASCAR. The rule states as followed:
"This year we will guarantee no less than 15 combined Hendrick victories. We will ensure this by only allowing their tires to blow out no more than 5 combined total times this year."
I mean really, they are virtually the only ones who don't have tire problems. If Hendrick is sucking up the track it's probably due to their engine. When their tires do blow, they always miraculously end up on the lead lap in the top 5 by the end of the race. It's a conspiracy.

So, Who's YOUR driver?

2005-04-10T22:59:00.000-07:00

Hopefully for your sake, your driver doesn't suck. I would hate for you to waste time, money and effort rooting for someone I despise. Just kidding, kinda. For the most part I don't have a beef with most of the drivers.

Let's just get this out of the way. My favorite driver is Dale Jr. He's the man and I refuse to believe he is struggling this year. He will absolutely make the Chase. I am a realist, he probably won't win the cup, but, hey, we Junior fans can still hope.

Now that that's settled. I hate Hendrick Motorsports and all its drivers. Not to say that there is not a degree of talent associated with its drivers, but personally I can't stand them. I am sure we will establish more of why later.

Aside from that, I have various other drivers that I like. I do not discriminate on the basis of car make. There are Dodge drivers and Ford drivers that I like. Although, fewer of the latter. At any rate, I will discuss my feelings on the races, drivers and rules of NASCAR. Mind you, I am very passionate and intense when it comes to watching the sport but I hope to keep all of this light hearted and fun. Thus, I will probably not post till several hours after the race. SO have fun reading...comment often...as long as you are not a Hendrick fan...Boogity Boogity Boogity let's go Blogging!

2005-04-10T21:20:00.000-07:00

The Man